jealousy and envy :-illness of mind

 

 

"A wise man is content with his lot, whatever it may be, without wishing for what he has not."-SENECA

Unfortunately, it is human nature to compare ourselves to others. Jealousy & Envy are toxic combinations of anger, insecurity, fear, worry, and greed.

Jealousy is feeling to desire what others have. While Envy is a feeling of resentment of other people's blessing and prosperity. Both of these are the opposite of love and gratitude and seek to see another person's misfortune.

These illnesses of mind are because of a person's inability to see what God has provided in their life and not be thankful for it. There are thousands of blessings you are blessed with if you put up a light on them and think about it. but our mind is designed for desiring more and more. which leads us to jealousy and envy against other people, which may lead to immoral behavior. 

Why do people feel jealousy or envy? why we want more? why aren't we content? why do we seek happiness in what we don't have rather than being happy with what we have?? Are we desiring due to jealousy or for self-satisfaction? have you ever noticed how many times do we feel jealous or envy in a day ?? ask yourself. 

CAUSES OF JEALOUSY & ENVY :

➣ Constant comparison with others

➣ Low self-esteem

➣ A desire for status and attention

➣ Lack of close friendship

➣ Lack of prayers & intimacy with God

➣ And finally the cause, causing all these are social media.

Jealousy and envy are a trap for your mind and fuels up anger, insecurity, fear, worry, stress, and greed, which leads to self-destruction through inability to focus and work, ignorance of blessings, leading towards immoral behavior and wrong path, and most importantly it takes away your inner peace.

SO HOW DO WE OVERCOME JEALOUSY AND ENVY?

HERE ARE THE SOLUTIONS:

1. ACCEPT AND CHERISH CHANGE:

WHEN WE FEAR AND RESIST CHANGE, WE BECOME INSECURE. INSECURITY CREATES JEALOUSY. fact that you may lose your best friend, fact that you may lose your old customer or job, fact that you may not be that famous. Fact that these things are common then why worry about it? we don't even know that these changes will have greatly positive or negative impact, so why worry and be jealous of it.

2 STOP COMPARING AND START LIVING:

Rather than focusing on the external world, if we focus on our internal world, we would improve ourselves to the next level. If we stop comparing ourselves to others and focus on our inner self-development we would be much happier.

For example: There was a man who always compared himself to everyone in every aspect of life such as clothes, job, salary, spouse, friends, house, mobile phone, car, etc. He wasn't happy at all with his life, always remained angry, dissatisfied, sad, and insecure even with so many blessings!! one day he went to a consultant to find his reason for unhappiness, anger, and dissatisfaction, and insecurity, and after the session, his view of life completely changed and he realized how blessed he was!! and after that, he was always grateful to god and lived with content and the change in his life was enormous!!

TO LIVE WITHOUT COMPARISON IS TO REMOVE TREMENDOUS BURDEN.

COMPARISION KILLS SELF LOVE AND SELF CONFIDENCE, BE YOU DON'T COMPARE & STAY HAPPY

If jealous/envious = you won't be happy

content with what you have = you won't feel jealousy or envy.

3.LESS IS MORE:

The more you are satisfied with what you have, the less you will desire!! and vise versa.

Desires are endless!! so how will jealousy & envy end?? by being content with what God has provided to us and being thankful to God we attract more blessings and happiness. If we continue to desire we will forget the blessings wee have and run after what we don't, which will lead to dissatisfaction and unhappiness, resulting in jealousy or envy or immoral behavior.

Hence we can see how less is more and more is less!!

4. WISH GOOD FOR PEOPLE AND CELEBRATE THEIR SUCCESS:

Wishing good for people and celebrating their success increases love for other people and kills jealousy or envy.

for example: if your friend gets what you desired for, if your colleague gets promotion, if your classmates score higher then you, if your friend gets a new car, or any such situation of life  always with your heart wish them good and celebrate their success and spread love and joy to evryone.

5. PRACTICE BEING GRATEFUL:

Every night before going to sleep practice reflecting on your day and thank god for the blessings provided by god. this will help you overcome jealousy and envy and make you aware of being happy and satisfied instead of comparing with others. If you count the blessings of God on you, you won't ever feel need to be jealous or envious .

6. AVOID SOCIAL MEDIA:

Nowadays social media has become a medium of causing jealousy and envy. posts which people see of other's life leads them to compare their life with them and making them feel dissatisfied, desiring more and takes away your mental peace.

keeping away yourself from social media will make you more happy and more focused and more content.

jealousy and envy has disrupted our world and distracted people from the goodness of life and left them comparing and increased jealousy and envy leading to immoral behavior and selfishness, desiring more and more rather than being happy and helping.

Worry:-How to reduce worry and control worrying

 

''Worry" on listening the word automatically worries of your life will rise in your mind.

life is full of worries!!! our brain is full of worries!!! worry about health, worry about wealth, worry about relations, worry about job or business, worry about home, worry about debt, worry about family, worry about friends, worry about studies, so many worries in such short life!!!!

Is life all about worries? Is worrying good? Is worrying good for health? how can we control worries? how to reduce worries? 

Well, I am here to help to help you answer these all questions and guarantee you worthiness and power of my solutions! DO NOT MISS THE ENDING.

-> Understanding worry:-

Worrying is mulling over a problem, employing constructive reflection to get to a solution.

''worry is the vigilance for potential danger which has been essential for survival over course of evolution''-Daniel Goleman.

when fear is triggered in the brain, the resulting anxiety takes over the mind forcing to obsess about it & ignore anything else for a time being.

'' task of worrying is to come up with positive solution for life's peril by anticipating dangers before they arise"-Daniel Goleman.

so is worrying good or not?  The answer can be both yes and no!!

yes is only for productive worry! worry or brainstorming about something productive in your life or worry about a good cause.

example: worry about your career can lead to your growth and make you act towards it

No is for unproductive worries! The difficulty is with unproductive, repetitive or worries which are unreasonable, uncontrollable or impossible worries

These kind of worries magnifies without reaching a positive solutions!

example:" if I won't achieve this goal, I will be a failure, I won't be able to earn money, I won't have a family, people would not respect or love me, I will be a loser, I won't ever be happy." 

In this display of worry, you see how in seconds it magnified to lifelong declaration! "I will be a loser"

such worries have very low probablity of actual occuring!

one of the worst feature of worrying is: It destroys our ability to concentrate. so accepting that worry mentally & face it with full courage & find a solution.

Worrying creates stress & anxiety  which creates anger and all of these emotions are very harmful for our mental as well as physical health. lowering your immune system, increasing blood pressure, problems of digestion, inability to focus, inability to work.

Worrying, wastes energy and wastes time; it limits what you can accomplish.  Try not to obsess on the past, but to learn from it. Try not to worry about the future, but to prepare for it. And while it’s difficult sometimes, Try to take pleasure in the moment, even when bad things happen. 

Refer to my blog on anger to learn to control it:-  http://influentialwriterats.blogspot.com/2021/05/solution-to-solve-your-any-problems.html

-> Eliminating worries! :-

1. Best way to deal with worry is to write them down and then write out solutions you can think to solve it.

example:- I am worried about the tomorrow's presentation.

or I am worried about perfect preparations for guest arriving 

solution:- make an impressive presentation, prepare and practice for it and give my best

or clean up house, cook delicious food, treat them so well that they are happy and comfortable.

This method is very helpful for you to deal with most chronic worries of your life.

2. Taking Action on the solution will help you eliminate the worry! 

Finding the solution and acting on it instead of thinking will eliminate the worry!

refer my blog on solution to the problems to help you find solution

3. "The best possible way to prepare for tomorrow is to concentrate with all your intelligence, all your enthusiasm, on doing today's work superbly today. That is the only way you can prepare for future!!."-Dale Carnegie.

This is the most influential and Master solution to eliminate worries!!

"to be in present moment" ask yourself where you are? answer- here in the present!!

worries are the concerns of future and future is uncertain. so stay here in the present moment make the best of it rather then worrying about future course of actions! 

meditation and mindfulness is the practice to stay in present moment!

4. Ask this question and answer it

This is

 a simple way 

to free your

 mind from worry.

5. Every person around us may be full of worries and problems in their life. A little kindness and love would be so good to every HUMAN BEING you meet. THINK ABOUT IT. 

TRY THE ART OF GIVING!!!- HELPING PEOPLE BEING GENEROUS & FEEL THAT HAPPINESS & BEING GRATEFUL. AND SEE YOUR WORRIES FLYING AWAY!!!

TRUST GOD. EVERY THING HAPPENS FOR A GOOD REASON BELIEVE IT! 

DO  NOT WORRY, BE HAPPY, ENJOY YOUR PRESENT AND MAE IT USEFUL!

Anger : Your worst enemy

What is Anger? Anger is an emotion triggered by an emotional hurt, on experiencing unpleasant feeling of being injured, mistreated, opposed, or from obstacles that keeps us from attaining goals

Our emotional mind is an impulsive mind which takes over in times of anger or any other emotions and doesn't let you think with all the facts&results about the subject you are angry, happy, sad, excited or depressed. Like sometimes when you are sad you don't feel like doing anything, similarly when you are angry your mind doesn't let you think clearly on that subject.

Many times in Anger- you may have reacted in such a way that later you realise, you could have handle the situation much easliy or not make a big deal of it.

This is because in Anger people's ability to think is taken over by Angry mind in which you could speak without thinking consequences or considering to whom are you speaking.

Scientifically proved that, Anger and hatred is eating our immune system. Anger can cause Anxiety, digestive issues, insomnia, hypertension, and much more.... Anger has never done good to anyone... 

Holding anger is a poison. It eats you from inside. We think that hating is a weapon that attacks the person who harmed us. But hatred is a curved blade. And the harm we do, we do to ourselves.

Expressing anger is easy, 

Controlling over anger is art of awareness,

What to speak and not in Anger is skill you gotta learn!

When asked to an expert, " best way to handle anger"

Replied, "Don't supress it. But don't act on it."

1.Write down:-

Whenever you feel highly angry and about to burst of your thoughts out of consciousness. Stop and catch yourself and write down those angry thoughts. 

     This may save you from a big mistake!! Trust me!!

    This may save your professional or personal relations. 

   Once you write them down you will be aware of what's wrong and right,

   And you can better rephrase them and calmly convey the message in better way. 

2.Cooling Down:-

Imagine! Once when in very angry mood you rushed out on drive vowing you would never return. While driving you find a beautiful place with greenery and open sky which calmed and soothed you and whenever in bad mood you visit that place as you find it best cure.

         So, COOL DOWN whenever in anger and just set yourself on cooling off by distracting yourself from Angering situation

3.Change your thoughts:-

Say some other bike cuts you dangerously close to you as you are driving. And reflexively in anger you curse him bad words.

      Now contrast that situation with more generous line of thought towards the driver, " may be he had good reason to drive such carelessly, may be had medical emergency". That line replaces your anger with mercy, getting your mind calm & mood good & save your day.

             The longer we ruminate about what made us angry, the more "good reasons" and "self justification" for being angry we can invent.

"Thinking deeply about it fuels the anger flames" but "seeing things differently or changing thoughts extinguishes those flames"

4.When someone in Anger shouts at you-

do not shout back, instead respond them with compassion & understanding.

        This will save you from Anger burst and also help cool down the other person

              Bursting out angry thoughts  can lead to worsen the situation,

Whereas speaking wisely in awareness can lead to better solution. 

Well i could go on endlessly on this topic😝 but would like to give the most important message of this blog:

SPREAD LOVE, BE KIND & GENTLE TO EVERYONE AND SET YOUR ANGER OFF FOREVER. 

Solution to solve your any problems!

How many fingers do you see — 4?

Hahahaha!!

No no no!! You are focusing on the problem. If you focus on the problem, you can’t see the solution.

Look at the butterflies!!

Look beyond fingers!!!

How many do you see? —8!!!!

Try this at home, photo is just an example. 

“See what no one else sees”

“See what everyone else choses NOT to see”

Out of fear and conformity & laziness, and you will surely find the solution

“see the whole world a new each day”

Pc:- patch adams movie scene. 👆

And remember that any problem of your life is temporary.

Trust God, be positive, look beyond the problem.

Ask-What’s the purpose of this challenge/problem I am facing?what positive things can you find out from it?? Maybe not now but in coming future.What can you learn from it??

Awareness is most important in such times! Think with your concious mind, rather then overflowing into waves of emotions.

All your experiences, events, conditions and acts are the REACTIONS of your subconcious mind/emotional mind to your thoughts.

Power of positivity is the most powerful if you believe in it, it has done miracles in people’s life.

Postivity leads to optimism, which leads you to think solution, whereas negativity limits your thoughts & actions & keeps you circling around the problem.

So THINK ABOUT THINGS DIFFERENTLY. STAY POSITIVE STAY HAPPY!! 😄

Memorization-Hifz why is it crucial for mind, body and soul

Memorization-Hifz why is it crucial for our brain, body and soul. How easy it is. Why should we do Hifz-ul-quran. This blog is to give you a light on Hifz-ul-Quran. Lets discover it in few words to cheer, encourage, and make it easy for you to do hifz.

First of all let’s clear the limitations about memory. Hifz can be done in any age what you need is passion, purpose, efforts and consistency. And willingness to give your precious time for this precious amal.

Let’s start with question why?

° Moula ni khushi

° Khuda ta’ala si kurbat

° Deen-dunya ma faido

° Improves memory

° eliminates stress and sadness

° Keeps brain healthy

Memorization is discipline for the mind. Much needed in an age when so many minds are lazy, distracted, have little to think about or think sloppily.

People nowadays are more into watching TV, using social media, phones, and stay into their comfort zone, they are involved in these things which doesn’t benefit into their life. Rather the input they take from watching Tv or using social media is corrupting their brain, which affects physically and mentally.

Memorization helps train mind to focus and be industrious. Memorization is building new neurological connections in your brain. And repetition or revision is sustaining those connections.

With 3P’s Purpose, passion and proper method you can learn anyhting in the world.

There is no limit of our memory, the more you memorise, more you memory power increases.

HOW?

1. Our attention is the key to remember precisely

* Keep away all distractions out of your sight.

* Mind your environment where you are learning or doing hifz, as environment affects your focus. 

2.Time of your hifz should be fixed 

* Give at least 90 mins and take a break of 5 minutes after every20 or 30 minutes to increase effeciency but do not use phone.

 3.Drink water abundantly, to keep your brain cells active. 

4.50% of what we learn is forgotten in an hour & 70% of what we learn is forgotten in 24 hours. So keep revising after 1 hour, after 4–5hours and in morning before jadid.

5.Best time for hifz is in early morning. 

6. Meditate every day for at least 10-15 minutes, it helps a lot to clear your mind and increase focus for better hifz.

7.A genius Uses listening skills & visual skills at it best.

8. Whenever your mind pops up a thought or distracts you-write it down on a paper to act or think on it later if necessary.

9.Use association method- associate the word with emotion, place, name, thing, which you have already learnt. This makes easy for you to remember.

 

10.Break ayat in small parts to learn precisely and then repeat the whole ayat.

Ps:-some points from fundamentals of hifz by shz. saab

11.Physical exercise in morning like walkimg, jogging, yoga, gym etc. For at least 40 minutes will improve your physical as well mental health. And boost your brain cells to be more active and keep you in good mood and shape.

12. Improve concentration through:-

Do not be upset or get demotivated if you find difficulty in beginning. It takes time for brain to learn and adapt. And do niyat of hifz today and now.

 Thank you for your time. Hope u find it useful and benefits you in your journey.