SOCIAL RELATIONS: Need for interaction and communication in life

 

Did you ever notice that feeling of a beautiful conversation with someone of the same interest? Is it the same and satisfactory as the conversation in your mind?

Did you ever notice those negative thoughts that your mind generates when sitting alone? And sometimes those cheerful words from your friends/family/colleague; results in killing those negative thoughts and uplifting your mood and motivating you!

Interaction and communication with people play an important role as it is responsible for the emotions of happiness, empathy, cheerfulness, love, excitement, joy, anger, fear, envy, sadness, hatred, etc. Without social interactions with human beings, we would feel blank or have no emotions at all! 

Emotions are what leads humans to co-ordinate, cooperate, work, and live together for our self-development and the growth of others and society.

At home we live with our family, in school/college we study and interact with class and teacher, and in business/job we work with team/group.

All together we have a circle of life and circle of people.

if we think and contemplate upon it; "The world as a whole is a family to us." just divided and classified into countries, states, communities/religions, and families. All with different brains, skills, abilities, thoughts, emotions, and perceptions. It would be easier for all of us to live in a world where we could eradicate greed, envy, and selfishness and promote peace, kindness, generosity, happiness, and value if we all lived in harmony, collaboration, and love.

↬ Social Connections and Brain:

The human brain has evolved for social living and needs the stimulation of others. Having close friends and a healthy social network is good for the brain. It is also likely that when individuals keep an active interest in new things it makes them more likely to seek out similar people to talk to, and their company in turn helps keep the individual's brain alert, interested, and stimulated.

Having friends with similar interests encourages people to experience new things, increase their knowledge, and make decisions, which stimulates the brain. If a person has no one to accompany them, they are less likely to travel, explore and try new things; which results in stimulation where the person's brain avoids being active. Loneliness may also make people less inclined to look after themselves-for example, poor mental health, and poor diet, which may result in physical changes that impact on the brain. " individuals who report feelings of loneliness are more likely to have health problems later in their life".

In contrast, high social connection benefits our health in many ways. People who feel connected to others tend to experience better functioning physically, emotionally, and mentally.

↬ social connection and health:

 Having good social relations and connections can benefit our health in many ways:

١ Lower levels of anxiety, stress, and depression.

٢ Stronger immune system.

٣ Less likely to experience sadness.

٥ Better memory, focus, and mood.

٦ Higher self-esteem and more empathy with others. 

٧ More confident, cooperative, and open to trusting others.

↬ Power of Networking:

Your network is made up of all the people you get along with, have good social connections with, and have met throughout your life. Helping and working for each other is how people live in this world.

       " A great network is a great asset in your life."

suppose you know 500 people and each of those 500 people knows 500 people you don't know; then you have a network of 2 lakh 50 thousand people!

For example, You requested assistance from five of your friends, and each of them asked three of their other friends to help you. This way a network of 5 people added 15 more people to your network through your friends. This is how we have a direct and indirect network chain.

↬ Tips to improve Social Connection:

١. Start with yourself-  Understanding why you act and react in various ways might help you build more healthy ways of interacting with people.

٢. Watch your thoughts- Get out of your head, your mind may indulge you in negative self-talk and stop you from interacting with others. Having positive self-talk will help in having a brighter outlook on life and attract people you want to interact with.

٣. Be Proactive- Even if you are an introvert like me, make a list of people you care about and reach out and talk to them, don't wait for others to initiate contact.

٤. Be friendly at work-Relationships at work can be a source of support when setbacks occur as well as a source of caring and companionship. If you work in a physical office, be open to speaking with anyone you run into at the water cooler or coffee maker for a few minutes; think about making it a regular routine to eat lunch together rather than working through it.

٥. Be present- Always when you meet in person, keep your phone or gadgets aside; face-to-face communication, eye contact, smile, gestures, and closeness are more pleasing to a person and can have amazing benefits.

٦. Speak regularly to immediate or extended family- Spend quality time with them, stay in touch with your family, invite them to dinner, and have a habit of gifting on occasion; these are people who know you best and often will help you in challenging times.

٧. Stay close to your inner circle- spending quality time with your friends and staying in touch, promotes mental health and quicker recovery from physical illness. It also enhances your network and quality of life with good conversations and feeling supported.

٨. Remember little things- Individuals can convey that you care about them when you send them a quick birthday greeting, congrats for a joyous occasion, or a condolence message after a loss.

٩. Learn to give- Our network is not about taking but about giving too. Learn to give, help, and reach out first, givers are the receivers; by giving you receive more! give generously, give with heart, and give more!

It is important to remember that in our hectic lives, we may have a large network, but our connections may have weakened, so strengthening and maintaining them may result in a healthy life and a wealthy network.

Finally, keep in mind that life constantly teaches us that the people in our life are responsible for many of the greatest, inspiring, joyful, amusing, sad, or terrible moments in our lives.

Money, Power, or fame are not what keeps us happy, content, and healthy in life; Rather it is the strength of our social connections. The biggest impact on your life and greatest return on happiness will come from making an effort to cultivate and enhance your relationships.

Learning from:- Life of a Butterfly

Life of a butterfly!

Is it simple or complicated?

what can we learn from it?

Does a caterpillar dream of flying?

Does it know its uniqueness?

Does a butterfly live to beautify others' life? give happiness?

Let's discover the life of a butterfly!

If we observe carefully we can learn how a butterfly's life is similar to human life.

A butterfly's life has three stages:-

Caterpillar↠Pupa↠Butterfly

☝ Caterpillar:- 

The journey of a butterfly's life starts with its birth as a caterpillar or larva.

A caterpillar's work is to eat, eat and eat!!! As it grows it splits its skin and sheds it about 4 0r 5 times. At this stage, it can grow up to 100x size from it's birth, food eaten at this time is stored & used later as an adult.

"Similarly if we look at our lives at birth we are like a plain paper, we are born blank.....as at this stage caterpillars work is to eat, eat & eat, similarly we learn, learn, & learn & grow. We learn to speak, write, eat, manners, observe, develop, study, make friends, play, enjoy, and much more...

This is our age between 1 to 14 years.

As a caterpillar sheds skin 4 to 5 times in order to grow, humans experience different situations in life during this age and adapt to change, experience changes, and grow through them.

To understand better here's an example:-

Adam is 12 years old, he is very innocent & gullible. One day in school, his group of friends whom he loves very much starts making fun of him and bullying him, considering him weak; still because of his innocence, Adam wants to be with them, rather than changing group or facing them.

Slowly Adam realizes from his mistake that his friends are not worthy of him or making his fun all the time! which makes him weak.

Then he joins another group of friends who makes each other strong and respect each other.

So this example depicts how we slowly realize change at this age and learn from our mistakes and grow through to it and shed our skins behind.

As the food eaten by the caterpillar is stored & used later, alike our experiences, learnings, changes, actions, and thoughts from this age are useful to us throughout our life and essentialy in the upcoming phase of life.

✌ Pupa:-

 When a caterpillar is fully grown it becomes Pupa or Cocoon!

Pupa may suspend under a branch, leaves, or underground. 

It may look like nothing is going on, but big changes are happening inside.

Special cells that were present in larva are now growing rapidly. They will become the legs, wings, eyes, & other parts of the adult butterfly.

Now, this is our age between 15-30. The phase of life where we explore ourselves, explore the world,  learn how it works, How life is lived? what is life? how to deal with our problems? we take knowledge, we make connections, and we search for answers to thousands of questions in our minds.

Age 15-24 is the age of exploring ourselves, this is a critical period where we may feel lonely, angry, stressed, depressed, being judged, criticized, face failures, and look like we are gonna do nothing, Because! we haven't found the meaning & purpose of our life!

But! here we learn from our life, mistakes, explore ourselves, experimenting, growing from inside, searching for meaning & purpose of our lives, developing our skills, creating happiness, learning to help & serve, finding the meaning of success, learning emotional intelligence, social intelligence, personal intelligence.

EXAMPLE:- When we were young kid, we just used to get Angry & react in anger, without a thought.

Whereas in this age of 15-21 we learn when to let go of Anger, control it, How to stay calm during anger, and what to speak!!

 And if we fail anger becomes our enemy for lifetime, which can ruin our relations, business, job, or whole life.

EXAMPLE:- when were young kid we thought of becoming doctor, teacher, scientist, engineer etc. without understanding deeply... As we grow we start looking for passion & talent inside us, work on those skills, and develop them & follow it throughout our life in harmony with the meaning & purpose of our life.

It sounds similar to a pupa's life where it is alone inside, looks like nothing is happening from outside, but from inside, it develops it legs & wings & eyes as do we!! to form a butterfly.

👌 Butterfly:-

The adult stage looks very different from the caterpillar, it gets big legs, antenna, eyes & colorful wings ready to fly & beautify other life.

After the struggle from 15-30 or even 40. We are released from our cocoon to be butterflies, where we found the meaning of life, the purpose of life, have reached our goals, beautifying life of people around us, found out peace and learned to be happy in our lives, learnt to fly, & reach new heights!!

If we also observe the life cycle of a moth is also the same as a butterfly, though the difference between them is that, the butterfly beautifies the life of others whereas the moth is kind of selfish and ruins the lives of others.

Finally, some more insights and learnings from a butterfly are:-

1. Patience

2. Everything happens at its predestined time.

3. If we feel we are lost or lonely, remember how a cocoon turns into a butterfly by being alone!

4. Attitude of never giving up!

5. Always focused on growing and working on self

6. Every butterfly is unique.

7. Struggle is part of life.

8. Spreading happiness!!

please share and comment your reviews below.

Here's a beautiful video of a butterfly's life:

 

 

Depression:- an increasing mental disorder

                                      

 Depression is a negative feeling, causing sadness, loss of interest in activities, loss of social communication, causing problem in thinking, memory, eating & sleeping.

And there are evidence to suggest that the predisposition to depression, whatever its basis, is becoming ever more widespread among the young.

depressed children and teenagers are frequently unable or unwilling to talk about their sadness. They seem unable to label their feelings accurately, showing instead a sullen irritability, impatience, crankiness, and anger- especially towards their parents. This in turn makes it harder for their parents to offer the emotional support and guidance the depressed child actually needs.

let's understand with an example,

Tina, sixteen, had always seemed to get along. But now, suddenly, she just could not relate with other girls, and, more troubling for her, she could not find a way to hold on to boyfriends, gets ill-tempered and constantly fatigue. Tina lost interest in eating, in having fun of any kind; she said she felt hopeless and helpless to do anything to escape her mood, and was thinking of suicide. The drop into depression had been triggered by her most recent breakup. She did not know how to end a relationship even if it was unsatisfying. She had just moved to a new school, and felt shy and anxious about making friends with girls there. For instance, she held back from starting conversations, only talking once someone spoke to her. She felt unable to let them know what she was like, and didn't even feel she knew what to say after "Hello, how are you?"

Tina went for therapy to an experimental program for depressed adolescents at Columbia University. Her treatment focused on helping her learn how to handle her relationships better: how to develop a friendship, how to feel more confident with other teens, how to assert limits on sexual closeness, how to be intimate, and how to express her feelings. In essence, it was a remedial tutorial in some of the most basic emotional skills. And it worked; her depression lifted.

                                

►  Causes and solutions of depression:-

 

1: Unable to handle relations skillfully:

    particularly in young people, problems in relationships are trigger for depression, lack of communication causes grievance between people, communicating about the problem or what you have on your mind is better than ruminating about it in mind, which alas comes out in form of anger or depression.

understanding and learning communication techniques is a solution. 

2: Lack of emotional intelligence:

     in times of predicament, a person is overflowed with various depressing or difficult emotions, if he/she fails to hold their emotions take a break and understand them, and then respond they are likely to fall in depression. Not reacting on basis of emotions at the time of predicament is sign of good emotional balance and control. Secondly, failing to express feelings and getting proper emotional support causes depression. Thirdly, failing to understand emotions and view the bigger picture causes depression. It is important to have emotional balance in life for that meditation is the best practice that makes you calm, collected and gives insight into yourself

3: Way of interpreting setbacks: 

     In the moments of setbacks, it is important to pause and think about the setback view a positive picture of the setback and let go of negative emotions.

failures are part of life, giving some time to think and learn from failure or setback is key to upskilling yourself. Many people when facing setbacks, gets depressed instead of holding themselves in difficult times. It seems easy to read it here but mastering it in those times is a real art, that's how life is.

4: social media!! :

  social media is bad for teenagers’ self-esteem. Seeing lots of perfect pictures online might make kids (especially girls) view themselves negatively. Feeling bad about themselves can lead to depression. Social media has affected the minds of many young people, it has increased comparison, blaming, hate, anger, sadness, anxiety and is leading people in the wrong direction, if you use less social media, you are actually less depressed and less lonely, using less social media connecting with people emotionally rather then on social media increases love and kindness in the world.

Teaching children more productive ways of looking at their difficulties lowers the risk of depression such as-learning some basic emotional skills, including handling disagreements, thinking before acting, and, perhaps most important, challenging the pessimistic beliefs associated with depression

also check out my other blogs on worry, jealousy, giving, and anger to gain more insight on emotional control and hope my blogs are helpful to you any suggestion or feedback are welcome in comments below.

sugar:- just how bad is it!

 

Do you know? an average Indian person consumes about 9kg of sugar per year!! That is around 35,000 calories of sugar per year.(source:-NHA), India is the largest consumer of sugar in the world! 

This has resulted in increasing obesity and health deterioration in people. 

Living a healthy life is better than living an unhealthy life.

 You are what you eat!

Sugar is required by our body, to be honest, but in a limited and moderate amount, from the right source. In today's world, consumption of sugar is at its peak!! 

Artificial sugar is unhealthy for overall health. Artificial sugar has no essential nutrients but are empty calories. sugars don't have proteins, vitamins, minerals, and essential fats. just contains unhealthy fats.

↠Negative Effects of Sugar on the Body

⇘ A 1973 study out of Loma Linda University found that eating sugar affects bacteria-fighting white blood cells for at least five hours after consumption.4 The immune cells were sluggish on the job. Ever noticed your kids getting sick after a party??  More recent research from 2018 suggests that the mechanism by which sugar harms the immune system is through insulin resistance which then weakens the immune system.

⇘  Sugar fuels bad bacteria in mouth which affects oral health. Which can make teeth weak and increases chance of cavity. Recent studies foud that children born from 2013 are at higher risk of getting cavity and facing more oral problem in older age. 

⇘  people who do not eat sugar have higher stamina and energy levels compared to the one who consumes.

⇘  increases the bad cholesterol levels leading to increased rate of heart attack and cardiac-related risks.

⇘  Eating sugar has only one benefit that is giving you dopamine! The happiness hormone. It is just a temporary temptation that you give to yourself. 

⇘  Increased levels of glucose and blood sugar levels deteriorate brain cells affecting memory power

⇘  Artificial sugar is gone through so many different types of chemical processes that its formation is only unhealthy! 

⇘  Not all sugar you consume is converted to energy only 15% is digested and the rest 75% sugar iS stored as fat in our body increases the risk of obesity.

Consuming natural sugars like honey, jaggery, fruits, maple syrup, etc. is healthy. since sugar is not a required nutrient in your diet. Still, According to the health reports of the American Health Association, men can consume 150 calories a day without any harmful effects on their body and women can take 100 calories a day. 

And I have personally felt many changes in my body and mind after quitting sugar! And it worked for me well!! 

Present:- how to be present in "present"

 ""Your entire life consists of the present moment!!""

Are you in the present right now?

completely present with your mind & body??

Are you aware of your breathing right now??? or how many times you are aware of your breathing in a day?

These questions are just to realize how much present we are in our daily lives.

Aware of your breath, thoughts, what you are doing conciously, knowing the worth and purpose of what you are doing is said to be present in your now!

We are living in a world entirely hypnotized by the illusion of time. In which present moment is felt nothing but a very small hairline between a causative past & absorbingly important future. We have no present.Our conciousness is mostly pre-occupied with memory & expectation.

We do not realise that there is no other experience than present experience. We are therefore out of touch with reality!

How many things in our life that we do that are in habit, and just do without being present in that moment?!  for example, driving, walking, scrolling feeds, brushing teeth, bathing, drinking, eating, praying...

Many times in a lecture/ class/meeting/prayer we lose our attention & lost in a world of thoughts of past or future. Same thing happens while driving, brushing teetth, bathing, walking, drinking, eating and such routine activities.

tommorrow try brushing your teeth with opposite hand & experience how present you are in that moment!😃

When we observe our thoughts, we see that 90% of our mind is occupied with thoughts of past or worry of future, which leads to disturbing our present. Being in present is the most beautiful experience you can have everryday..

past is gone, future is unpredictable, but present , today, now! is contollable & in your hands!!!

make your present useful, worthy, & fruitful! because thats only gonna define your future...present is in your hands!

Remember:-

"what time is it?"

"Now"

"where are you?"

"Here"

"what are you?"

"This moment!!"

whenever your attention begins to drift off to other times & thoughts, I want you to snap back & remember that time is now & place is here.

"It's ruinous for the soul to be anxious about the future and miserable in advance of misery, engulfed by anxiety that the things it desires might remain its own until the very end. For such a soul will never be at rest-by longing for things to come it will lose the ability to enjoy present things."

Why to be in present moment?

1. Beacuse it makes you aware of your life, your surroundings, your work and actions, people around you and gives you proper direction.

2. Practice of staying in present will help you heal and grow. Obsessing about future will create anxiety. Replaying broken scenarios from past causes anger or sadness. stay here inthis moment!

3. The magical power of being in present in present is that it will make you free of worries and uneccesary thoughts and make you live your life fully in the moment you are in.

The secret of health for mind and body is to be in present moment. And meditation is the best practice to experience and learn to be in present moment. Meditating 15 minuets a day relieves stress, brings you in present, stops unecssary worries and help your mind and body heal! 

Nothing is more precious than being in present moment,

Fully alive, Fully aware.😉

Present is only place you can :- 

Act

live 

love.

😇

Power of Giving- changing lives

 "The Power Of Giving is one of the 

most important things you can do to 

transform your life and the life of others. 

It's a vital part of your personal development and growth"

we have more to give than we realize!!

we can give time, knowledge, talents, gifts, encouragement, acknowledgment, thoughts, compliment, kindness, smiles, love, money and anything in the world you wish to.

By truly giving from heart you attract & receive, more than you give.

Power of giving is directly connected to law of attraction.

what you give ⇒ is what you attract.

what you think ⇒ is what you attract.

Here's a story which will help to understand this. Ron is the happiest and cheerful person in his group of friends. Everyone wondered, what special quality does he have which makes him so cheerful!? Ron answered them." I always looks positive side of every  person and gives respect, love and show kindness to every person I meet; giving them respect, love and kindness is what I receive back which makes me so cheerful and attractive. Another thing which makes me so happy is helping others and making valuable contribution to the society, seeing others happy makes me truly happy.

"TRUE GIVING COMES FROM HEART💙"

When we give we open a channel to the abundance of the universe

If you feel blocked in certain area of life, "Give!, help others!"

Giving/helping others in time of your own problems; God will definitely help you and you will understand the power of giving.

Even in times when you are not sufficient to give/help & you decide to give/help it will give you a sense of feeling you have never experienced & doors of your problem will open in most unexpected way!

If you need love and respect; then firstly give love respect to others! You can't expect from others, if you yourself don't give to others!!

Giving gives you happiness!!

Giving makes you feel what truly love is!!

Power of giving saves you from jealousy and envy, being selfish and makes you better person!

 👉 Power of giving also means being selfless.

"In the world of materialism, getting/ desiring more and more, just doing I,I,I !!!

selflessness & thinking about others, has become rare!!!"

Expectations and desires, never makes you satisfied!, But serving others and giving with a full heart is always gonna make you happy. Because when you desire/want something, you may not receive;  But if you wanna give something, who can stop you?! 

By giving we make positive impact on our society and make world a better place to live. Imagine a world full of selflessness, everyone helping and caring for each other, government and companies working for welfare of people rather than filling their own pockets, how rich and developed would be our world! how everyone would be living happily together! this blog is just a little effort to make our country and world to make a better place!

"Learn to give & you shall reive more. Be selfless, Be helping, Be kind."

As you sow, so shall you reap.

If you sow seeds of goodness, kindness, love; than your fruits will be even more sweet!!!😊

so give generously, cheerfully, and often😃

An amazing poem on giving! :

I never feel more given to than when you take from me— when you understand the joy I feel giving to you.

 And you know my giving isn’t done to put you in my debt, but because I want to live the love I feel for you.

 To receive with grace maybe the greatest giving.

  There’s no way I can separate the two.

   When you give to me, I give you my receiving.

 When you take from me, I feel so given to.

 —“Given To” (1978) by Ruth Bebermeyer

Here's a truly beautiful video depicting the happiness from giving/helping

BOOK READING- WHY READING BOOKS IS SO BENEFICIAL TO YOU

 

How many books do you think exist today in the world??? 

More than 130 million!!!

How much knowledge these many books would have???

That much knowledge if you learn at every step you take, until you die, you wouldn't reach the end.

Well, there are many mediums to gain knowledge, but nothing can replace book reading!

Everybody knows this quote very well," books are your best friends". I'll explain to you why. Because books have answers to your every question and solution to your every problem!!. You just need an appropriate book to look in.

Reading books is like taking and learning decades of experience in days!!!
Research and wisdom of decades & lifetime of the author are put in books which we are so blessed to gain.

There's a catch that, reading books is only beneficial when you apply what you learn!

READ+UNDERSTAND+APPLY= POWER OF KNOWLEDGE

30 POWERFUL REASONS TO READ BOOKS:-

1. Reading books gives you motivation and confidence to take action. Hence books help you feel more confident.

2. Books help you to travel around the world in the cheapest way!! as it increases
your imagination power.

3. Books develop your personality. Years of wisdom & experience stored in books develops your personality.

4. books help you build a better thinking process or books provide food for your thought.

5. Many kinds of books make you laugh while many kinds of books make you think.

6. Books give you guidelines, motivation & inspiration to draw towards perfection!

7. Reading books is so effective and efficient in stimulating your creativity.

8. Reading books helps you to become a writer.

9. Books are the best means or way of communication of emotions and thoughts.

10. Reading books clears your vision, shows you aim and purpose in life, and helps you change the wrong perceptions on anything.

11. Books satisfy your curiosity regarding anything you wish to learn.

12. Reading books helps you make more and more choices, as endless books with endless knowledge give you endless choices.

13. Books help you to shape and build new talent.

14. Reading books increases your attention span or focus.

15. Reading books in your free time is a FRUITFUL PASTIME rather than watching movies, series, or scrolling Instagram or youtube.

16. Reading books' biggest advantage is that it helps you to know the 'whys' and 'hows' of everything!!

17. Reading books help you travel across time intelligently.

18. Reading books will help you to be updated with facts and figures.

19. Reading books helps to spread love, affection and knowledge.

20. Reading books make you smart, which automatically leads you towards an intellectual environment.

21. Reading books broadens your mind and vision.

22. Books are stress-busters, provides you peace, by engaging you in a flow of focus.

23. Reading books helps in developing a sense of belonging to people around you.

24. Reading books provides you mental and physical relaxation.

25. Books provide a spiritual experience above anything else.

26. Reading books helps you build emotional intelligence, gives you tactics to deal an emotional breakdown.

27. Books help you build your self esteem, shows your self worth! make you limitless & helps you grow.

28. Books transform lives!!!

29. Books take you to  a ''Worldof Dreams".

30. Books inspire, Books innovates, Books build Nations!!!

WHOA! I can still go on giving you endless reasons on book reading. Though I think these reasons are enough for you to get you motivated on reading books.

Purpose of writing this blog is that in today's world  we people and our children have shifted from books to videos, games, movies and social media....passing our time in easy way rather then gaining fruitful knowledge from books. That connection with books is being lost slowly...keeping it strong is very essential for learning and growth.!!!!

FINALLY, I WOULD PERSONALLY RECOMMEND YOU  SOME GREAT BOOKS TO READ ONCE IN YOUR LIFETIME!!!!!.

set of 4:- How to influence friends and people

              Power of your subconscious mind

              Richest man in Babylon

              Think and grow rich

          https://amzn.to/3EaWUSj

Be water my friend.

https://amzn.to/3l7r3sN

way of peaceful warrior

https://amzn.to/2X1fnju

heal your body: and two other books

https://amzn.to/3DZDG1G

https://amzn.to/2Vqc58m

IKIGAI

https://amzn.to/3ttaZW7

SAPIENS

https://amzn.to/38RUvgD

EFFORTLESS HEALING

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